mud puddle

To whom do I owe my thanks? The Lares of the internets? For a while after mentioning my dissatisfaction with my marriage my husband and I had an amazing period of connection. Sweet it was. What explains it?

Now I feel like he's tied up with some foolishness, although apparently I wouldn't know folly if it hit me in the face. And I am also witnessing the emergence of a preconscious "I" whom I drag around with me like a corpse tied to my leg! When this "I" disappears, with all her discontentment and automatic resentment, what will be left of me? How many times have I skirted this idea that one can live at peace with a world full tilt with dysfunction, guiding and smiling but not reacting.

In a dream I dove into a mud puddle cheek first as happy as a sow.